The Cannibal's Guide to Fasting by Dana Hammer

Author:Dana Hammer [Hammer, Dana]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cinnabar Moth Publishing LLC
Published: 2022-09-06T05:38:47+00:00

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Igor knocks, listening to the muffled voices coming from behind the mahogany door. The knocker is heavy brass, highly polished, in the shape of a vicious-looking, fanged snake. He thinks it’s a bit dark for a shiny happy hotel like this one, but hey, what does he know about the dens of rich cannibals?

Karl answers the door in front of a cloud of opium smoke the likes of which Igor has not encountered since college, when a pretentious roommate declared himself a Buddhist, grew a Fu Manchu, and briefly turned their dorm into an opium den, inviting his friends over to puff and speak in asinine platitudes.

Igor did not figure Karl for the type.

Karl’s eyelids are droopy, and he smiles at Igor lazily. “So. You’ve come to talk.”

Igor looks behind Karl and sees two men and two women sitting on cushions on the white carpeted floor. The curtains are drawn and the light is dim. Soft sitar music plays in the background and Igor rolls his eyes internally. What the hell is Karl up to now?

“I have.”

“Well, come on in.”

Karl steps back and lets Igor enter. The pipe the people are passing around is stunning, an absolute work of art. The silver engravings, the delicate pattern painted onto it, the charmingly decorated little damper—Igor wants to snatch it up and keep it for himself. He could. These people are puny and high. He won’t. But he could.

“Guys, this is Igor. I believe you might have heard me mention him?”

One of the men looks up at him with new interest. “Your reputation precedes you,” he says. It is not a compliment.

One of the women gets up from her cushion. She is small and brunette, her hair knotted and messy. She approaches Igor without a hint of fear or nervousness. At first, Igor is charmed by her lack of trepidation but then she reaches up and slaps him. She tries to get his face but can’t reach, and so she settles on his neck, slapping it with all the righteous fury she can muster in her groggy state.

Igor sighs.

“Could you please not do that again?” He looks down his nose at her, making a stern face.

“You motherfucker. After what you did to Karl, you’re lucky that’s all I did. You deserve worse.”

She closes her eyes for a moment, then returns to her cushion.

For a moment, he wishes Jesse had come with him. Or Esteban Zappa. They would know how to handle this. They would be sitting on a cushion, taking a pull off the pipe, chatting the women up and charming everyone in the room. But instead, they’re back at home, working in the lab, so as not to lose momentum.

Igor wishes he was charming.

He turns to Karl. “Look. I hope we can talk civilly. Will you hear me out?”

Karl nods, grinning. “Alright guys. I’m gonna need you all to clear out. Me and Igor need to talk.”

The assorted opium smokers begin the long, slow process of extricating themselves from their cushions, putting away their belongings, finding their shoes, and then finding the door.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.